Holidays

It's that time of year again. Time when women of a certain age are wished a "Happy Mother's Day!" whether we like it or not. Whether we have kids or not. Whether, in fact, we are Mothers or not. I don't know if it's the P.C.-ness of the times or if I just reached that age. (You know, that time long after the kid who bags your groceries starts calling you "Ma'am.") I never used to be wished a "Happy Mother's Day!" Now, even if it's the week before Mother's Day, some well-meaning cashier at the local supermarket takes it upon herself to wish me something I don't really deserve to have wished upon me. Nor, honestly, do I want it heaped on me -- this reminder that I, being of a certain age, don't actually have any children and, given the increasing frequency of flashes of intense heat and waking up to find my hair, sheets and pillowcase are more than a little damp, (and, no, I didn't sleepwalk my way into the shower), am not going to have any of those imagined children. No. I'm not going to be a Mother. And no, I don't really appreciate the reminder.

I find it more than a bit ironic that Mother's Day, as we Hallmark it today, was "officially" created by a woman who, the Internet reveals, "had spent many years looking after her ailing mother. This is why she preferred to remain a spinster." Ah, she had a legit excuse.

Now I'm all for phoning my mom and even sending her a little trinket from the Shop. But I think it's a little rude and pushy to be wishing it on any female ...of a certain age. When is the starting age anyway? How do you figure that out? Do you dare wish it on a 20-something? Even if that is the "ideal" age, biologically. Aren't you taking a big risk, assuming a woman's age and then assuming she has kids? I notice guys don't wish it on me. No, just women. And I thought it was just women-with-kids. Mothers. Mothers who thought it was polite and kind to share the greeting. Share the day. As if it were mid-December when you can get away with a "Happy Holidays" that just about covers anyone. But then, I'm in the shop, (the Tuesday before Mother's Day) with Sally who works there when she's not off at the Ski Resort teaching wary ladies how to bunny hop down the slopes. Sally, it should be noted, is over 50 and has no kids. She's there at the shop to change the window (the window display hasn't been touched since before Thanksgiving). In walks another woman. In her 50s I'd guess but who can tell??? Anyway, as this potential-but-no-such-luck customer starts to leave, Sally grins wide and says "Happy Mother's Day!!!!"

Huh? Why, Sally, why?????? I guess Sally doesn't mind it when someone says it to her. Just being nice I guess. But I can't. I just can't. And I won't. And I'm really, really, glad I don't have to work on Mother's Day. And for sure I'm not going anywhere near a grocery store. In fact, I'm not leaving my house until it's over.