What do these tourists think anyway?

So, the Shop is housed in, well, a house. A house that was built around 1940 so it’s kinda old, considering the recent housing boom and all. But, no, it’s not Colonial Olde or anything like that. So this woman walks in -- barges in really. Shoving her way around the rooms she says, “is this an Original house?” I give her that look like “uhm, are you from Mars?” Original. “No,” I want to say, “It’s a copy.” So I squint some more at her (what can I say, it was 4:00 and I’d about had it with wonky tourists asking dumb-ass questions). She repeats, like I’m the one with three heads (or no head at all), “is it, you know, Original.” I finally give up the who’s-dumber game and say, “well, it was built in the ‘40s.” With what I can only describe as a “haunting look” she stares me down then responds: “The 1840s?” She’s disgusted at my response.

Later, she tries to get back into my good graces by telling me she used to work in a tourist town. The Bahamas. As if we’re in this secret society together. Only she’s the wonky tourist this time out. What is it about tourists???? Do they not do their homework? Do they just fall back on Romantic stereotypes? To be fair, a couple shops over is, in fact, a former home that was built in the 1800s or whenever. I think it's a museum now. A museum that sells gifty-things. So I guess it’s not completely wonky to think our very 1940s-looking house was built a hundred years earlier. I guess.

I’ve had and heard worse. Each week I try to secretly award a “loser question of the week” prize. This week I have to say the prize goes to the woman who, when looking at a bunch of small rainbow-painted wooden bowls, bearing the “Made in Thailand” logo, asks: “What do you use these for?” I tell her, “Well, I use them for M&Ms but other people put nuts in them and some people use them for paper clips.” (Truth be told, I don't actually own one of these kind of crummy painted wooden bowls we order in bulk from the giant wholesale-to-kitchen-shops company. But if I did, I probably would fill them with M&Ms) “Oh!” she laughs, “I thought maybe you used them to grind peppers or something.” Yeah, that’s right, we sit on our mud floors grinding dried chile peppers in specially painted wooden bowls Made in Thailand. We’re just so exotic.